GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: POWER CHORD APOCALYPSE
Power Chord Apocalypse
Troy’s off key voice bellowed through the room as Wolf’s fingers moved up and down, strumming and wishing his vocal chords could match that ego. Nothing he could do could drown out the weak voice of his lead singer. But he had no other options now and he just wanted to play with a band and hope they’d notice his talent.
The walls shook. Not from Wolf’s amp, but from the sky splitting open. Something huge loomed outside—an eldritch mess of writhing tendrils, jagged mandibles, and way too many eyes. Downtown LA was in flames.
“DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?!” their drummer, Chase, shrieked as the window cracked and they heard girls screaming like fans at a concert.
Troy, smirked. “Relax, man. I bet they know talent when they hear it.” He flipped his mic stand and let out a wailing high note.
A tentacle crashed through the window, snatched Troy mid-riff, and yanked him into the night. His scream hit a C-sharp before he exploded in a shower of guts.
"Guess they don't like your vocals either, bro," Wolf muttered, gripping his guitar.
Another monster clawed its way inside. It shrieked—an unbearable, sanity-warping noise. Chase threw a drumstick at it. Useless.
Wolf, in a panic, strummed a C Major chord.
BOOM.
The thing’s head burst like a piñata of gore. Green-black sludge splattered the walls. Wolf blinked.
"…No fuckin’ way."
The creatures outside raged. Another slithered through the doorway. Wolf shredded a power chord. The beast convulsed, its tentacles snapping off one by one, until its skull caved in like a rotten melon.
Chase gawked. "Dude. Your guitar is a weapon."
Wolf grinned. He grabbed Troy’s abandoned leather jacket (RIP, idiot), slung his guitar over his shoulder, and kicked open the door. The city screamed with chaos—monsters ripping through buildings, people running in terror.
Wolf cracked his knuckles.
"Guess this is my first world tour."
With that, he stepped into the night, guitar in hand, ready to shred the apocalypse into oblivion.
Art and story by Hal Hefner.
Produced by Catmonkey Studio