GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: THE FEAST
I should have known something was off the moment I downloaded an app specializing in underground food pop-ups. It was just another weak attempt by me to fit in with the young millennials at work. But this was the perfect chance to get Vanessa to go on a date with me.
“Sublime Bites” had no address, no reviews—just an invitation-only system and the promise of a "once-in-a-lifetime underground dining experience." As a programmer whose whole world is based on logic, I should’ve been skeptical. But as a single, socially awkward man trying to impress his way-out-of-his-league date, I was admittedly desperate.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: HARVEST OF ASH
Jaycen’s parents always told him that progress came at a cost. He just never thought the cost would be their lives.
The fire in the main house cast long, twisting shadows across the greenhouse as the masked men dragged him forward. The air reeked of burning plastic, blood, and gasoline. His mother’s screams had stopped. His father’s body lay somewhere in the inferno, their life's work crumbling with them.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: POWER CHORD APOCALYPSE
Power Chord Apocalypse
Troy’s off key voice bellowed through the room as Wolf’s fingers moved up and down, strumming and wishing his vocal chords could match that ego. Nothing he could do could drown out the weak voice of his lead singer. But he had no other options now and he just wanted to play with a band and hope they’d notice his talent.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: The Algorithm’s Final Trick
Rob used to be normal—at least, as normal as a guy who vaped bubblegum-flavored smoke and owned a "Live, Laugh, Lift" poster could be. His diet was 70% energy drinks, 20% Taco Bell, and 10% the free samples at Costco. Life was fine. Then the Algorithm happened.
It started with quirky conspiracy videos. Harmless stuff. "The moon is a hologram," "Tom Hanks was two raccoons in a trench coat," "Your microwave is a government informant." He chuckled, shared a few ironically, and moved on. But the more he saw the videos the more they burrowed into his brain. What if Reptilian shapeshifting aliens really did run Hollywood, he wondered.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: THE KINDRED GLITCH
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: Sasquatch’S AWAKENING
Alone in the woods, Dave had eaten way too many psychedelic mushrooms. So when a massive figure—hairier than an overgrown lawn, with eyes that glowed like fireflies emerged from the shadows and stood over his campfire, he didn’t even panic.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: CHAMP 2.0
Billy Walsh was a shitty, mad scientist whose anger caused a lot of issues in his life. With an emphasis on mad—he was also an arrogant, grudge holding asshole with mommy issues, whose rich parents footed the bill for his life. The people of Ticonderoga, NY, had shunned him after The Incident (which involved a genetically mutated squirrel, a taser, and an unfortunate explosion at the Stewart’s gas station). But tonight, revenge would be his.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: MARIO’S SPECIAL PIZZA
Mario, the lab’s most promising chimpanzee, had always been curious. His handlers, marveled at his growing intellect as they pumped him full of experimental pharmaceuticals. The VR headset, designed to boost his cognitive abilities, was his gateway to a new world. The only thing Mario loved more than the pizza he was given for doing a good job in VR by his favorite scientist, Dr. Kim, was the world itself. He excelled at navigating through it unlike the other chimps—those vibrant landscapes, the endless possibilities were a respite from the real world and cruelness at the hands of Dr. Keller. But today, something was different.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: RABBIT MEAT
Ben awoke violently to the sound of a large thud. The smell of damp earth and rot filled his nose as he opened his eyes. His wrists burned from the ropes binding him to the cold, wooden floor of the dilapidated house. He turned, realizing now, that the noise that brought him back to consciousness was his best friend, Jake. His lifeless body leaked a pool of blood onto the floor. A grotesque, half-rabbit figure stood over him menacingly. Ben looked into its eyes, glowing with malevolent hunger. The cultists, draped in filthy, ragged rabbit masks, left the room. Ben could see them through the open door in the hallway as they circled the altar, chanting in a language that made his skin crawl.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: THE DEMON’S DESERT
Grandma rocked in her chair, the firelight flickering in her cloudy eyes. “Your great-grandfather told me stories, bambina. From Calabria, where he was a boy. Dark stories.”
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: WOLFMOTHER
Rachel crouched in the darkness, fingertips brushing the metal band at the base of her skull. Below, five men laughed—her family’s murderers.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL
Stephanie had always been curious about the mushroom gummies her friends raved about. One warm July evening, she donned her mother's vintage Motley Crue "Shout at the Devil" shirt and snuck out to meet Fiona and Katie behind the library. Eagerly, she grabbed a handful of Katie's psilocybin treats, consuming four times the recommended dosage before they all shared a joint to kickstart the experience.
GOD HATES HEAVY METAL: LENA
Lena had never seen the app before. A black icon with a blinking red eye sat on her home screen, though she didn’t remember installing it. Curious, she tapped it.